Hrmm..

I'm done. I'm tired of your façades and the silly mind games that you play. I'm tired of always having to figure out what's going on and what's coming up next. I'm tired of always thinking what went wrong.

I'm just so tired. So yeah, go ahead and play the game by yourself because I'm through playing. Life's short, but you.. make it feel so long..

-

You walked towards me with a blank stare, your face stricken with pain. You pulled out a revolver and pointed it directly at me. You swore you would kill me right then and there. I backed up a few paces until I hit a dead end.

Staring death in the eye wasn't as blood-curdling as I expected it to be. I inhaled and exhaled rapidly, thinking that this was the end. I wasn't sure if I was afraid to die or not. All I wanted to know was, what brought on all this rage and resentment?

And then you pulled the trigger. Blood started to seep through my shirt, it trickled down my arms. You looked intently as I writhed in pain from the wound that was now a gaping hole in the middle of my chest. You had no remorse in your eyes as I met your gaze.. your eyes told me a different side of you, aloof.. cold.. detached.. distant..

I hear deafening sirens in the distance.. sudden, heavy footsteps getting closer & closer, I hear someone shouting, "Stay with me..."

"....it's not your time, damnit"

Everything's a blur. Vague white shapes in motions so prompt and swift, voices muffled..

"Charging.." someone shouts.

And that's the last thing I remember hearing.

.. will you save me or will you be the one who kills me?

Greeeeaaaat..

I wish for a lot of things..

I wish the people around me would stop hurting each other.

I wish for peace and quiet (at times when it's really needed, but am a dramatic person.. so it rarely comes by.)

I wish for you to quit playing games and stop with the mind-****! Quit being so complicated. Life's not that hard you see, it's simple.

I wish for you to start being strong & true to yourself. Know what you want and don't doubt yourself. Do not beat around the bush and don't let things slip through your fingers before it's too late.

I wish for you to stop being so negative about yourself and I wish for you to have more confidence. Do not let one person run your life for you as you are the one that controls your own life. You're doing so much better now, just don't slip back into the toxic waste that you were once in.

I wish you all the happiness in the world. You mean alot to me and I care about you. Just happy seeing you happy :)

******

Yunyun, I'm thankful for having you in my life, for you make it so much more colourful! I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here to listen to my problems and to advise me (even though sometimes you're seriously no help hahaha) am grateful for all the times you've helped me with my assignments and hand-ups. A girl couldn't ask for a better BFF who's always there in her time of need :) so I thank you for being such a great friend.

Esther, I'm thankful that you're always there when I need someone to talk to. You're really a wonderful & loyal friend. You're always there when I need a lunch/shopping/talking buddy, you don't ever let me down and you're always there to listen. And yes, I couldn't ask for another better BFF! Who needs one when you can have two? :D so I thank you.

These two have been there for me when I needed them most. Just wanted to thank them from the bottom of my heart because I know I can be annoying at times just talking and talking about my problems but they never fail to listen and help me through it. I thank God for giving me such wonderful BFFs.

Not that I don't have other wonderful BFFs, these two have helped me through alot recently and I just feel that I'm lucky to have them in my life. Without them, I would've gone mental and delusional. They're what's keeping me grounded right now :)

Last One

I'm officially leaving this blog. Am too lazy to update and noone's reading it anymore anyways. So yes, here's to 2 and a half years of blogging.. it's helped me through alot, venting emotions and anger through this site has been therapeutic but it's time to move on.

There will be no more updates for double eu double eu double eu dot ordinaryteengurl dot blogspot dot com cept' for the emo and ranty posts (which are not counted).

...

It's going to take alot. Am not sure if I'm willing.

=)

Just because of the date.

p.s. i hate you, you weren't there when i needed you. you weren't there when i needed you. you weren't there when i needed you. sometimes, i just wonder why i even bother caring about you.

I Dreamt..

.. about you ..

To A Special Person

Dear darling,

I just wanna say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that I've done. I'm sorry for bullying you and calling you dwarf-like (although you seriously are like one). I'm sorry for always borrowing your notes to copy and free-ride of you (well, not really). I'm sorry that you're so gosh darn annoying sometimes.

I'm sorry that 'L' likes you (this one I truly, truly, TRULY sorry hahaha). I'm sorry that you're always busy (actually I know the reason already, your busy is "talking-on-the-phone-24/7-busy!"). I'm sorry that you're always being touched by you-know-who (don't worry la, he won't read this hahaha!). I'm sorry that you were scared shitless that night by you-know-who again.

That's all I wanted to say to you. Neh, your apology letter.

Sincerely from your bff,

KRISTINE 'AWESOME' WONG.

p.s. please don't smack me when you see this. love you mwaks hahaha.